It is interesting to know that for the Papuan tribe – with which I had the honour of spending the day – the men and women sleep in separate houses. All of the women sleep together in one room, as do the men. If a woman is pregnant, then this is experienced with the group, in togetherness with all of the other women who are there. Does that perhaps already have an influence on the fetus? That this tiny little creature in the belly already feels it, this feeling of togetherness? In the smaller families of today, this is done very differently. The smaller the family is, the less there is a feeling of connectedness with the group and the more you are dependent on yourself. Your individuality provides more security than togetherness does. In the larger families of the earlier days, as well as in the larger families you sometimes still see today, people worked together and thus depended on each other. This connectedness was necessary to run the family business, to survive and to grow.

In 1920, about 70 percent of Americans was a farmer. They had a large family that usually included also the grandparents and aunts and uncles. There were many adults to share the responsibilities, creating more of a feeling of togetherness. This is completely different in small families where grandparents and aunts and uncles are often no longer included because, according to society, they must lead their own individual lives.

I was interested to know why that was and what it was that caused the difference.

Why are so many people unhappy, isolated, alone and seemingly unable to reach their potential? Given their circumstances, it would make sense that they were happy and that their personalities were flourishing. This was a mystery that I was fascinated to solve.